7 Bad Habits of Ghiba (To Backbite)
*This post is first and foremost is being published as a reminder to myself. Please forgive me if I have done anything to hurt you in such a way. I would like to share this with everyone else with Ramadan coming around and with the recent hostility shown among each other. Backbiting is something that isn’t so literal in terms of just talking behind someone’s back. It’s more than that. Now, we think that just because a person can see and respond to slanderous posts, that it’s not considered backbiting. If you see anything wrong with this post, please feel free to correct it.
1) Venting one’s Anger: For example in an argument between two people, and later one backbites the other to justify or gratify their anger.
2) Desire to fit in and be accepted by one’s companions: When you hear your friends speak ill of others behind their back and you don’t stop them or warn them, you join them! REMEMBER ALLAH SAYS:
الْأَخِلَّاءُ يَوْمَئِذٍ بَعْضُهُمْ لِبَعْضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلَّا الْمُتَّقِينَ
“..Friends on that day will be foes one to another, except the righteous people.” (Surah Al Zakhruf 43:67)
3) To raise oneself by degrading another: In the same way one becomes jealous when another is praised, and then seeks to disparage them. Or when one’s knowledge, honour, and good qualities are praised in front of him and he says, yes but he also has such and such bad qualities. This is Shaytaan, luring you to believe this is sincere advice, but if it was, you would give it privately not expose him publicly.
4) Sheer Envy: Envy is an evil. Shaytaan deceives us by envying the benefits of others and waiting for Allah to remove them. Hence the only way to disparage them is to speak ill of them behind their back. Be aware! Allah only gives His benefits, to those whom He likes, and no one can change this decree.
5) Joke and Amusement: Backbiting in order to make others laugh. This is a grave sin Abu Hurairah (RA) says that, Rasulullah (SAW) said: “It is a serious evil for a Muslim to look down upon his Brother Muslim.” (Sahih Muslim)
6) Pretending to Show Mercy: Someone may say: “that poor person, I feel sorry for him, he takes the Fajr prayer so lightly, or he has shaved his beard or been tested by such and such offence.” If the backbiter was sincere, he would be genuinely distressed, and not spread the misdemeanors but invoke Allah to help him overcome their problems, advising them in secret.
7) Forcing oneself to be angry for the sake of Allah: One may says: “Look and so and so and how he transgresses against Allah’s boundaries or violates His Commands.” This person is not sincere, because if he is honest he would have met the person and advised him to do good and forbid him instead of speaking about it.